CHRONICLES OF THE ACID MANE

Just wanted to throw this in the mix if we're going to tackle the topic of acid. I have many fond accounts of my trips into the outer-realm, but I'm going to just leave you with this humorous anecdote. It was actually my first time, and my homeboy's first time experimenting with psychedelics, in particular shrooms. We were 9th graders in high school if my mind serves me correctly, and we got home to my boy's house who we will refer to as Snaggletooth for all intensive purposes. I want to maintain a level of anonymity for my homie, so as not to put him on blast. Anyway, this cat was talking all evening about the shrooms he had at home, and how we were going to plan to consume them the following weekend. However, plans change, and as we got home from Taco Bell we decided to put them in our tacos at around midnight or so. Except me, I ate my taco first because I wasn't about to put that shit on my succulent chalupa or whatever the fuck it was I was eating. So it was Snaggletooth, my boy Perm, and myself sitting there waiting for these bitches to kick in. Perm and I were both talking shit to Snaggle saying that his shrooms sucked and they weren't doing anything, mind you this was about 1o minutes after we ate them. 15 minutes later my boy Snaggle, who is kind of lightweight when it comes to these types of things, was already starting to act weird and wigging out. He was like off in the corner of his room rubbing his eyes muttering incoherent nonsense. Perm and I meanwhile were both telling him he was a fag and that he got ripped off and that these shrooms sucked. Yet, about maybe a couple minutes after Perm and I said this, I started feeling weird my damn self. However, Perm and I were still trying to keep up the charade like we weren't feeling it, when we both knew we were. Yet we tried as hard as we could to keep telling Snaggle how soft and bitchmade he was while maintaining our composure. Finally, we both looked at each other and said: "I think I'm fucked up." The rest of the night and on to the early morning were spent in Snaggles room doing weird shit that I can't even remember fully. Snaggle was rubbing his eyes and then looking up towards the bright ass over-head lighting in his room and told all of us that he kept seeing little Volkswagen Bugs coming towards him from the light after he would rub his eyes real hard. Interestingly enough, I tried it out and I saw Volkswagen Bugs too! I think it was because he planted the idea in my head from the outset, therefore I was already anticipating the flying Volkswagons heading towards me. Perm on the other hand was busy telling ghost stories to scare Snaggle because he was such a pussy. He turned off the lights and pretended he was the devil, talking in a deep raspy devilish intonation. The funniest thing he said, and about the only thing I can fully remember was, "Contrary to popular belief, it is quite cold in hell." He said it with like a devious English accent. I guess it was the type of thing that you had to be there to think it was funny. Another spooky Perm prank was his attempt at trying to play "Bloody Mary," you know that scary seance shit where you invoke the spirit of Bloody Mary by lighting a bunch of candles and yell bloody mary like a hundred times and she appears in the mirror all bloody and scary looking. Well, Perm's version was a bit different. His version consisted of going into Snaggle's closet dressed in just his tighty whiteys and one of Snaggle's mother's fur coats which she kept in his closet for some reason, and yelling bloody mary like a little girl and doing a little crazy dance routine to go along with it. Needless to say I don't recall Bloody Mary gracing us with her presence that night. I also recall us venturing out into the unknown on our way to his older sister, and younger brother's rooms. We called them dimensions. His younger brother's room was the 2nd dimension and his older sister's room was the third dimension which scared us the most for some incomprehensible reason. The 1st dimension was Snaggle's room, as we spent probably a good solid 3 or 4 hours in that motherfucker acting like some pschyopathic lunatics. I think we felt refuge in there, and we were also a bit incapacitated which prevented us from venturing out too far. Also, we didn't want to be heat-ups and have his parents catch us. Keep in mind that we were still little jits at the time. I also recall his older brother coming home to find us in our retarded mind-altered state where he told us, "Yo, come follow me outside." We followed thinking that he was going to show us something real cool, but when we got outside all he had to say was, "look at that tree." When we did we became mesmerized because we thought it was a demon, and then we got scared and wanted to go back inside. What we didn't realize was during our entranced fascination by the demonic qualities of the tree, his older brother had locked us out of the house just to be a dickhead. We later somehow managed to get back inside where we watched cartoons the remainder of the early morning, until we managed to go to sleep at around 5 or 6 in tha morning.


I now leave you with an apt selection from Lil Wyte: "Acid"


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