Sunday, May 11, 2008

Stranger Than Fiction, Yet On The Really Real: Oddities and Occurrences From Around The Way

Quite possibly one of the grandest perks about hovering through such diverse social circles and constantly making contact with eccentric individuals would have to be the occasional random stories that filter through the rotten grapevines during moments of inebriation. My personal favorites always seem to bulldoze through my subconscious' politically correct barricades and present themselves rather inappropriately, to which my reply would kindly be, "what the fuck, that shit was hilarious while that junt was being passed around I right?", roughly paving the way for a couple insecure bitches to take advantage of this douche bag laughing at such appalling stories, (bonus for me, yes!). So in light of these mild mannered remarks and asshole appearances, Pimpin' Pens would like to share a bit of current events circulating around the brew cooler this past week.

Men charged after skull dug up, used as bong
9th May 2008, 9:15 WST

Authorities in Texas have filed corpse-abuse charges against two men who allegedly removed a skull from a grave and used it as a bong.
The Harris County District Attorney's Office confirmed today that misdemeanor abuse of corpse charges have been filed in the case.
One of the men allegedly told police they dug up a grave in an abandoned cemetery in the woods, removed a head from a body and smoked marijuana using the skull as a bong. Police found the cemetery and a grave that had been disturbed but are still investigating the rest of the story, officials said.

Not one to frolic over tampering with the deceased or engage in any erotic thought processes over necrophilia, naturally at first glance this would initiate disgust, but fuck if I know maybe these kids couldn't find an apple. What really had me bugging out is when I started pondering on how the fuck did they get caught, and the priceless look on dude's face piece when he got called out taking a nasty rip from some dead kid's skull, lol!

Graveyard Spliffs

Looking for that deadman's kush I suppose.

Leaping dolphins collide; one dies
30-year-old Sharky dies after accident at Discovery Cove lagoon
updated 11:24 a.m. ET, Tues., April. 29, 2008

ORLANDO, Fla. - A dolphin died over the weekend at a SeaWorld sister park after colliding with another dolphin during a guest interaction program.
About 32 visitors were in the lagoon Saturday afternoon when the two dolphins swam into the deeper center and lept from the water, Discovery Cove spokeswoman Becca Bides said Monday.
They collided and Sharky, a 30-year-old dolphin, died, she said. The other dolphin appears to be uninjured but is being monitored.

Condolences to the little fella, but something like this was bound to happen. I mean, super aerodynamic jets crash during airshows from time to time. The real question is, accident or not? Conspiracy theorist have raised some interesting theories regarding the motives of the surviving dolphin. Perhaps a vendetta against old Sharky, or even plain envy towards the name Sharky, or maybe Sharky grew extremly tired of never being able to live up to the name forcing an overdose on bull shark testosterone right before the stunt, who knows. Some say a penguin holding a sniper rifle by the arctic cove might be at large. Times can get rough when sardines go sour nah mean.

Flipper's Fatal High Flying Fiasco

MSNBC News Services
updated 8:24 p.m. ET, Fri., April. 25, 2008

SOLANA BEACH, Calif. - It was a perfect spring morning for an ocean swim.

With the sun shining in a clear blue sky, Dave Martin and his triathlon training group swam past the surfers at Tide Beach on their regular Friday course through cool glassy waters about 150 yards out.

Somewhere below, a shark — presumed to be a great white — was lurking, possibly on the hurt for a seal or sea lion. It struck around 7 a.m., charging at Martin from below and lifting him vertically out of the water, both legs in its jaws, its serrated teeth slicing deep, fatal gashes.
"They saw him come up out of the water, scream 'shark,' flail his arms and go back under," said Rob Hill, a member of the Triathlon Club of San Diego, who was running along the beach when the attack happened.
Martin, 66, was rescued by two swimmers who had been 20 yards ahead. They raced back and dragged him to shore in a little cove shielded by 50-foot bluffs. A lifeguard truck took Martin up to a lifeguard station on the bluff where he was pronounced dead at 7:49 a.m.

I clearly remember talking to one of the flyest bar tenders I have ever laid my perverted eyes on when my buddy so perfectly interjected and asked if any of us had heard what happened to some triathlete out in Cali. Needless to say I settled for just staring at the bartender's tits for the remainder of the time as she was clearly turned off to my chuckle at the outcome of the story.

Wrong Place Wrong Time

Posted By Los "and what" for Pimpin' Pens

No comments: